This Time For Sure

By
Scott Wagland

I have a story to tell you,
It's sad but it's true,
About a time three weeks ago,
and a girl I once new.

I'll start at the beginning,
Where most stories start.
Then through to the tales end
Where we hear of my broken heart.

I suppose you could say my social life
Was like that of a zombie,
The only car I got to drive
Was my dad's old combie.

Some of my friends say vans can be great
Once you get a girl in the back.
If only I could get one in the front
There would be no turning back. 16

I've tried and asked and asked and tried
To get someone for me.
But using a club and draggin' by the hair
Was the only way I could see.

Until that fateful day, when,
A new girl started-Rhonda.
Her hair, her body, her face, her eyes,
They all filled me with wonder.

But foolish me I stayed away,
And snuck off like a thief in the night,
But the way she moved and the curve of her body
Made me put things right..

People said she was fairly stupid,
But I knew she was smart.
I knew she was pure and innocent,
Others called her a tart. 32

I found out that the way was clear
By asking my sister Kate.
Right there and then I knew that I'd
Be asking her for a date.

I did a little background check
To see where she ate lunch.
Then I felt the time was right-
I dunno, call it a hunch.

I threw a can casually in the bin,
Crushing it with all my might.
Then the question suddenly popped out
"What are you doing Saturday night?"

I must explain 'round the opposite sex
I'm somewhat of a mute,
And skinny and tall with wiry hair
But luckily she thought I was cute. 48

"Nothing yet" her voice replied
So soft and silky smooth
"You can take to a nightclub or something
I wanna shake and groove.

But please hold on, not so fast,
Slow down or I won't be game.
Before I do go out with you, please tell me-
What is your name?"

How could I have been so foolish,
I went bright red that day.
I gave her my name and got her address
And quickly slunk away.

I mumbled some excuse why I could not stay.
But let the truth be known
The feat that I had just achieved
I equated to a slam-dunking gnome. 64

My heart was pounding, my ears were ringing,
My body was totally spent.
I was in a rush to get out before
My words were incoherent.

That evening I polished my shoes and van
And made sure everything was right.
I didn't want a thing to be wrong-
This, this would be my night.

I spent the day doing menial tasks
Until the time would arrive.
I showered and shaved and did my hair
Then got in the car to drive.

Then the panic hit me, just then I realized
I didn't know what to do!
I know you've all been like this before
I hope - haven't you? 80

I had my sister help with clothes,
They weren't the thing amiss.
But other kids played doctors and nurses,
I never learnt to kiss.

I drove myself down her street
And found house number forty-two.
I calmed my self with the knowledge instinct
Would show me what to do.

She was dressed in a T-shirt too small for a kid
And a skirt as short as a belt,
With knee-high socks and high-heeled shoes-
I though my heart would melt.

"Nice car" said a voice from that girl,
That goddess on earth called Rhonda.
I knew she was lying by the evidence parked
In her driveway; the Celica, the Honda. 96

We chattered as we drove down the road
To a well known place in the city,
Where the music pumps and the dancing is hard
And the conversation is witty.

The rest of the night was a disaster you know
With me and my two left feet.
With me out of rhythm my relationship
With Rhonda would be dead meat.

So I took a break and then she went
Straight to some other guy.
Some of the moves she danced with him;
Well my oh my oh my.

I went off to get a drink at the bar
And decided to play some pool.
I may be wrong when it comes to dancing
But with my cue in my hand I'm no fool. 112

Time flies by when you're having fun,
An hour later I looked for my date,
I'd decided maybe we should move on
After all it was getting late.

I searched for her here, I searched for her there,
I searched both high and low.
I didn't think there were many places
Without me she could go.

She might've been waiting to meet at the van,
So I went outside- what a blunder!
In the parking lot there saw I a thing
To rip my heart asunder.

There she was behind a car
With a guy I'd met before.
A jock from school I'd seen playing pool
I guess she liked him more. 128

He must've been a u-boat captain,
I thought to myself with a frown.
He'd fired torpedos and sunk her ship,
Now on him she was going down.

Needless to say when I saw this
I went off like a prawn in the sun.
I should have known with a girl like her
A date would be no fun.

Yet my heart still goes out to my Venus, my love,
And I think of what could've been.
We went together like oil and water
Yet we should have been peaches and cream.

So now you've heard my tale of woe
That has put me back in my shell.
Yet again my social life will become
One of living hell. 144

I need a relationship, I need to care,
A hand to fit my glove.
A companion, a friend, through good times and bad,
But mostly somebody to love.

Now I'm available, I'm back on the scene,
I may be a failure but hey-
I always look on the bright side of life
And every dog has his day.

Return to menu.